If you’ve ever been to those online dating websites you know there is always a box that asks you about children. Usually the choices are “have kids” and “want kids.” I never really know how to answer the later one.
I remember the “Sex in the City” episode where Carrie was with the Russian. He told her very plainly that he didn’t want to have kids. Carrie had to pause and think about the prospects of never having a child of her own – or at the very least having that option taken away from her.
At the time, I was dating a lot of men in their early to mid-40s, many had children and weren’t looking to start a new family. It was a timely episode and one that clearly resonated with me.
Now, 5 years later I realize that biologically it may not happen. But ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to adopt, and I know the idea of increasing my family through adoption is still possible.
But the question remains, do I want to have children? I never imagined myself not having children. For many years of my adult life I even worked with children. I was one of those people that everyone said, “she’s so good with kids. She’ll be a great mother.”
Although I do love children, I don’t know if I really want to spend the next 18 years raising them. There are days when it’s a resounding yes, and other days when I tell myself being an aunt, godmother and volunteering with kids will be enough.
I do know one thing, it would have to be something my future husband would want. I don’t want to have to talk him into it.
But that said, how do you know whether or not you should have kids. I welcome your responses!