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  • Neenah Pickett

When To Stop Believing

When to Stop Believing

I was speaking at an event for single women. After it was over, a woman in tears came to me and said when am I supposed to give up? Why won't God just tell me whether I can expect to get married in the future? That way I can move on with my life if it's not meant to be. I contrast a moment 20 years ago when at church a nationally recognized minister prophesized over a good friend and said to her that she will be married within a year. My other single friends and I were jealous because she received her answer. That question that plagues all single women - especially those who are over 40: Will it happen for me? But 20 years later, that friend of mine who received the prediction about her future is still very single. I can't imagine the idea of expecting something to happen soon and it not happen. It leads me to my next thought. If I could know the answer today as to whether I will find him in within the next 44 weeks would I want to know?

I’ve decided that I want to know what I need to know, when I need to know it. And I think that if answers come when I don’t need to know them than it kills desire, drive and passion in me. All of when targeted in a positive direction, makes life beautiful. This year is very much about me finding my husband, but it’s also about me growing as a person. I want to understand more about relationships, why some work and others don’t. I want to learn how to love and be loved. Most of that is focused on romantic relationships this year, but as I said in a previous blog, it’s about my purpose in life in general. I love what I proclaimed to do this year because it’s living life with a purpose and having a vision.

There’s this book I read years ago by Andy Stanley called Visioneering that was awesome. Andy writes, “vision is a clear mental picture of what could be, fueled by the conviction that it should be.” Right now I am so fueled by the conviction that I and millions of other single women should be married, but our screwed up society (and yes, I am a part of the society), keeps getting it wrong. Who or what fueled that conviction? I believe it comes from a good place. I believe God has but that desire in me. So, this year is my attempt of rectifying things and hopefully other women will benefit from it as well. And no matter the outcome, I still think it’s a beautiful use of my time, energy and emotions. So, for the woman in tears who just wanted to know, I say this: Understand who or what is fueling your desire and if it’s coming from a good place be attentive to it and follow it where it leads.

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