I have never not had the desire to marry (yes I used a double negative). But does that mean also mean I've never experienced contentment with my singleness? I have found that when I talk with people about my desire to marry I often hear “be content where you are,” as if desire and contentment cannot co-exist.
It reminds me of a now famous saying that was introduced to me when I was in the 7th grade. I remember the girls in my Christian Fellowship group started passing it around (see below). I’m not sure who wrote it, e.g., how wise this person was, his or her experience or qualifications. What I did know, even as a 12 year old, it felt very wrong. As a pre-teen I knew enough about human nature to know it didn’t describe any married people, or soon to be married people on the planet. To assume that marriage is a reward only given to people who have perfected contentment and satisfaction is a distortion of the reality of human nature.
30-something years later, having lived a life filled with longings and desires—which include to finish college, have a good career, buy a home, have good friendships, walk on 4 continents, have children, and the list goes on, some things that have come to pass and others not so much. These are the things that I wished for and planned for and even the things that I believe God put in my heart to desire. When Paul wrote about contentment, haven’t experienced hunger, I can’t help believe he at the same time did have a desire for food. So don’t stop desiring and don’t stop doing, but don’t stop seeking contentment either. They can actually work quite nicely together.
I love how T. Pierce Brown described it. “Contentment comes, not because of a passive acceptance of whatever our condition may be, but because there is a "perfect condition of life in which no aid or support is needed" inasmuch as God has granted one whatever he needs to face life and conquer it!”
READY FOR LOVE -(please don't circulate this guilt) “Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone -- to have a deep soul relationship with one another -- to be loved thoroughly, and exclusively. But God, to a Christian says: "No, not until you are satisfied with Me alone, discovering that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with Me -- exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing -- one that you cannot imagine. I want you to know the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things -- keep experiencing the satisfaction that I am. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you.
You just wait. That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or what I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would dream of.
You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have ready for you is ready (I am working at this very moment to have both of you ready at the same time) until you are both satisfied with me, and that life I have prepared for you, you won't experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love, that I offer you with Myself. Know that I love you utterly. I am God. Believe it and be satisfied." ---Author Unknown