September 9 - Challenge to Dr. Phil
I was recently rejected by Dr. Phil—for the 2nd time. I guess I should take it as a compliment. Once I learned he was looking for crazy women who would do anything to get married, I am happy that his producers evaluated that I don’t fit within their criteria. But when I first starting getting phone calls from them, I was excited. After getting bumped from the Oprah show in April, I thought, “This is great. Dr. Phil to the rescue.” But I also had to wonder, was getting national attention my goal or was it to find a husband?
I guess my answer is both. When you speak with these talk show producers, they ask you a gazillion questions about your story, as they should, because they don’t want you saying one thing over the phone and then another when the cameras are rolling. They also want to get to the heart of the message for that particular segment. But when you have single women on the show, the message tends to be “one note.” Let’s find out what’s wrong with her. However, do singles perhaps deserve a different type of national attention?
To be fair to Dr. Phil, I think he has built an empire on fixing people. So to focus on what’s wrong with singles is in line with all of his shows whether it’s an episode about careers, marriage, parenting or money. We are not perfect people and could all use advice when trying to improve our lives, so I don’t find fault with Dr. Phil for providing that advice. I just wished there was a different recording that was played by the media, every now and again.
When dispensing advice to singles, Dr. Phil talks about that recording (tapes) we hear in our head that plays a negative internal dialogue. One such recording says, “singles are broken and they need to be fixed if they want to find that significant other” So I wonder if he and other members of the media are contributing to that negative internal dialogue?
I’m a woman with many flaws. I could list them for you, really I could. But are my flaws greater than my friends who are married? And is flawlessness really a prerequisite for finding love?
As a 40-something, never-married women who would love to meet the man I could spend the rest of my life with, I certainly hope I’m allowed to one day stop beating myself up over all the reasons my imperfections have hindered my marriage prospects. Perhaps Dr. Phil, you could help with that internal dialogue.