October 25 - I Was His First
Divorced. I don't mind dating divorced men. I often prefer it. I worry about men my age who have never been married. As much as I fight it, I always ask myself, why. What's wrong with him and why is he still single? As a never-married myself, I know how hypocritical that sounds. I wish we all could put aside our bias and prejudice against over 40, never-married, singles. I'm working on it. I hope you are too. But, I'll admit, each time I think divorced men are safer, I'm shaken back into reality. They come with their share of baggage. Take last night for example.
I went on a first date with this guy – and when I say first date, I mean it. This one was especially painful, because the guy hadn't dated in 18 years. I was his first since his divorce 2 years ago. So I spent the night listening to his problems. I was obviously the first non-related woman he got to share with, and boy did the flood gates open. However, I did manage to skillfully change the subject quite a few times. He'd tell me about how much he is suffering and I would talk about how we both love hiking (which he mentioned in his profile). I'd tell some funny childhood anecdote, he'd laugh and tell one of his own. But somehow we ended back with baggage from work or about his ex.
There are a gazillion websites and books on what not to talk about on a first date. For those who don't know, it includes religion, politics, and your ex. I wished people would prepare more. Also, if I could add my own "not-to" I'd suggest avoid anything concerning your personal problems. When I'm just getting to know someone, I want to first discover what I like about you – and not concern myself with those things that are wrong with you and your life. I'm sorry that your Great-Aunt Mary is going to have surgery on her colon. I'm sure you are very worried, but maybe it's not something you want to get into on a first date.